


A piece of Luhan crack lmao

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Tsundere, Yandere, Yandere Yeesung, lol, now it looks like the reader actually burps and hump the table rip, why did i do this, yandere luhan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8450005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: wrote this with my friend at 3am in the morning. Actual light hearted crack. Dude just read it it's so funny man. SO FUNNY





	

You arrive at school with your close friend Chanyeol. It’s your first day of Year 11. You’re about to cross the gate into the school yard when you hear the sound of a motor cycle engine roaring. You turn to see where the noise is coming from and notice so is everyone else.

A guy suddenly screeches his motor cycle to a stop, leaving tile marks on the ground. Everyone is whispering amongst themselves asking ‘who is that?’ As he takes off his helmet to reveal his perfectly styled hair, you realise, it was Luhan, the hottest bad-boy of the school. All the girls are crazy about Luhan but you weren’t even the slightest bit interested.

Chanyeol nudges you with his elbow playfully. “I bet you secretly like him don’t you?” he asks. You give Chanyeol a sour look. 

“Of course I don’t, I want a guy who takes care of me and makes me happy. A pretty face doesn’t mean anything without personality,” you say to Chanyeol.

You begin walking to your locker but it proves difficult since the sea of wild girls going crazy over Luhan were blocking your way. While you’re passing through you accidentally bump into Risa, the girl who hates your guts. Why? No idea. You tried to walk past her but she grabs your arm and gives you her arresting bitch face. You struggle hard against her and finally yank your arm free. 

“What’s your problem?” you ask. She gives you a mock pout and says “you’re my problem, I just checked the seating arrangement and you’re sitting next to Luhan and I’m not. I clearly deserve it more than you!”

You sigh and mentally picture ways to kill Luhan, even unintentionally he’s making your life harder. “I don’t even want to be involved in this drama, I could care less who I sit next to as long as it’s not you.” You tell her harshly. Chanyeol pats you on the shoulder sympathetically as you walk away from Risa. She yells after you but you keep walking.

***

You sit down in your seat, which is the second row to the left, right next to the window. You sulk and think that if what Risa said is true, that the only person you’ll be able to talk to would be Luhan. Which means you’ll be caught in the eye of this storm which is … 

As you’re lost in your thoughts you suddenly notice the chaotic class suddenly quietening down. You look up to see what’s the matter and find Luhan swaggering to his seat next to you and cooly smiles at you. You sarcastically smile back, you look more murderous than friendly, Luhan ignores it and sits down, the class bursts into noise again, though this time, the subject of their conversations were Luhan.

‘Luhan is so cool!’  
‘I swear Luhan winked at me yesterday’  
‘Luhan is such a good soccer player did you see his match last week?’

Luhan this Luhan that, one more word and you were gonna literally light yourself on fire. You’re lucky that Luhan is always late so that you don’t have to endure this for long. 

The English teacher walks in and begins the class immediately. You sigh in relief. He instructs everyone to quietly write down the questions he wrote on the board and answer them, everyone is silent, though every now and then you hear the sound of girly giggles. You keep tapping the desk with your finger, what are you going to do for question 5? You wonder and huff in annoyance.

 

 

As you’re procrastinating, your start getting this weird feeling, like someone was watching you. You look up to check and immediately make eye contact with Luhan. You turn to face him, narrowing your eyes a little. “What?” You whisper at him. He sniggers under his breath. Is there something on my face? You think. Luhan rests his chin on the palm of his hand, and looks at you tenderly, “Nothing.” 

Oh, that bastard. What does he mean nothing. You turn away abruptly and look out the window as waves of anger roll over you. You begin to touch your nostrils and burp and humping the desk. Everyone looks at you, all mildly horrified expressions on their face. Except Luhan, he doesn't seem to mind, in FACT, you think he even likes it. Maybe this is his kink?

You don’t know whether Luhan is watching you anymore and you don’t care. If he’s going to be childish, so will you. Easy.

***

 

 

A few days since your encounter with Luhan has passed and you have succeeded in ignoring him fairly well since then. You’re now in sports and all the girls are walking to the gym after getting changed. You’re all only waiting for Chanyeol and the rest of the boys to get here now. 

After they arrive, you immediately latch onto Chanyeol. “Save me, Chanyeol, I have no friends over here” you whine. Chanyeol barks a laugh “ I told you to make some friends at the beginning of the year but you wouldn’t listen would you. Serves you right” he flicks you harshly in the forehead and you glare at him because he was right. Chanyeol and you had been friends since primary school and you’ve never needed anyone else so you’ve never made any effort to make new friends. Meanwhile all the other friends you did have were all Chanyeol’s friends that he introduced to you. Baekhyun, Suho, Lay and Chen. Unlike yourself, Chanyeol was basically a social butterfly, everywhere he goes he leaves a trail of new friends behind him. You’ve deemed him clearly inhuman since nobody has such amazing social skills like he does.

Eventually, the teacher tells everyone to split up, form a circle and sit. Everyone randomly sits in no particular order or group and Luhan just so happens to sit next to you. You cast him a dark glance but it doesn’t make him move away. Instead, he leans closer and asks ‘innocently’   
“Did you know, we had dance today?”

“No,” You say curtly. He frowns playfully but it doesn’t deter him, “Would you use me as your dance partner?”/your sex toy?

“Nah I’ve got Chanyeol” 

“UgH, WHY U DO DIS 2 MEH” He memes at you and grows two extra limbs.  
“Wtf” you say but it’s actually a pretty sexy look on him. And that’s when you realised, everything looks sexy on him. DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNNN. 

You’re about to refuse but then you realise he might be the best option out of all the boys in this class since everyone else all smell kind of shit. -Chanyeol is not an exception, sadly-. But then you realised you hated him for always indirectly ruining your life so you glared at him and once again refused. “No. I would rather dance by myself.”

 

Luhan sighs lightly at your reply, “Isn’t that a little harsh?” he says. He then gets up and walks to another open spot, next to Risa. You don’t look at him when he leaves, but you feel oddly cold. You knew you weren’t of any importance to him, you refuse to be hurt and played, what with his playboy reputation. You and Chanyeol automatically pair up. But still, what is that uncomfortable feeling bubbling inside you?

***

It’s the start of a new day and you’re at school early. You and Chanyeol had decided together the night before to meet up early and finish off the rest of your homework in the cafeteria before class starts, so now you’re both eating and hurriedly proof-reading each other's final copies. As you’re reading through Chanyeol’s english essay, you hear a loud noise and you flinch. You quickly look up to see Luhan, beaten and bruised as if he were fresh out of a fight enter the cafeteria. The noise was him slamming open the doors. You gasp, shocked at the sight. 

Luhan hears you and glances over. He simply stares for a few seconds, his emotions incomprehensible, before walking up to the food table and swiping an apple out of the fruits basket. And just as suddenly as he appeared, he left. 

“What was that?” Chanyeol mutters to you.

“Who knows,” you whisper back still slightly dazed. Luhan’s eyes had looked so blank. You can’t help but worry.

You and Chanyeol say your farewells before splitting off to go to different classes. You’re now sitting in English again. The atmosphere between you and Luhan feels like high voltage electricity at this moment. One wrong move and you’ll be electrocuted for sure. You want to fidget in your seat but you don’t. Luhan has a dark look in his eyes and doesn’t even glance at you once during the entire lesson. Compared to your previous encounters with him, where he’s always looking at you and trying to start conversation, this is a side of him you’ve never seen before.

You’re feeling mildly concerned but it’s not like you’d ever admit it or do something about it, so you tell yourself to forget it and think about something more productive. This unusual turn of events will go back to normal soon, you reason, and turn your attention back to the teacher.

***  
A week has gone by and Luhan is still acting strange, but thankfully it doesn’t seem he’s been getting into anymore fights, but it’s not like you care, you’re not letting his wellbeing affect you anymore. He doesn’t talk to you either and with no one to initiate the conversation like before you both fall silent whenever in the other’s presence and pretend the other doesn’t exist.

Today, you and Chanyeol plan to head to the school’s library to study before going home.

***

It’s not that late, somewhere around 7:30pm but it’s already fairly dark out, you want to make it home before it starts pouring since you forgot your umbrella since the forecast today told of heavy rain in the evening, though thankfully, your house is only 10 minutes away.

Chanyeol had left a little earlier and you decided to keep studying so you’re walking home alone. It’s a little lonely without him, you think. Though it’s much more peaceful, and it provides you more time to think without Chanyeol constantly chatting without a break. You’re humming along to a new pop song that’s caught your attention lately when you hear shuffling and commotion coming from ahead. You still, unsure of what to do and take out your home keys, putting them between your fingers to use as a weapon, just to be on the safe side.

As you round the corner you see in the distance four people in a fight. 3:1. Though the guy’s keeping up pretty well it seems being so unfairly out numbered is taking it’s toll. He lands most all the punches and kicks he throws, but he could barely block the retaliating hits, which is no surprise, it must be extremely difficult to keep up with three people all at once. 

You reluctantly approach closer, your house is on the next turn and they’re directly across the street, there is really no choice but to get closer if you want to get home before it starts raining.  
Just as you’re about to turn into your street, you see him.

Luhan.

The guy being out-numbered is Luhan.

Has he been messing with the wrong crowd? How long has this been going on for? Is this what happened when he showed up to school that day all bruised up?   
Questions immediately start bombarding your mind and you don’t realise you’re flat out staring until it’s too late. One of the three guys notice and walk across the road towards you. You flinch and look down at the concrete between your feet, your heart hammering fast. 

“What are you looking at, girl,” He whispers in your ear, completely invading your personal space on purpose. You don’t reply and lean back, away from him. 

Apparently, he didn’t like that and grabs your right wrist, gripping it so tight you gasp in pain. “I said What. Are. You. Looking at.” He hissed angrily. You glare at him in defiance but otherwise don’t make another moves. He smirks, as if he’s won, he’s wrong. He leans down towards your face, before he gets to do anything though, you slash him with your keys. He falls back. You now see Luhan coming your way and you can’t tell if he’s running at you or the man until he grabs your wrist and drags you the way you came.

You dig your heels into the gravel, “Wait, Luhan, wait.”

He stops and turns to look at you. He waits for a response.

“Come this way instead, trust me,” You’re already heading for the detour to your house as Luhan obediently follows all the way there. He’s standing behind you as you’re opening the door with the bloodied key. He waits outside as you put away your backpack and change your clothes quickly. When you return, he hasn’t moved, his eyes trace your every step, every move. It was slightly unnerving. He seemed so out of place, standing at your doorstep like a lost puppy. Unsure of what to do, or if he was even wanted here or not.

You take him by the wrist and gently pull him inside, he complies without a word. You sit him on the edge of the bathtub and clean him up in silence. You’re wrapping up the last bandage around his forehead when he finally does something. He takes your wrists and holds them gently, you know he’s looking at the bruised one.

“You don’t even like me,” he says, his voice sounds raw.

“What?”

“Putting yourself in danger, tending to my wounds, why?”

“Who knows? Should I have just left you there?” You ask. “ In any case, just because I didn’t want to be your plaything for the month doesn’t mean I’d want you get beaten to a pulp. Plus, I didn’t even provoke that guy, he just suddenly came up to me.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you get involved in this.” 

“Hey now, it wasn’t your fault” you joke, trying to lighten up the mood, “if anything it was probably mine, when I realised it was you fighting those guys I totally froze up and -“

“Don’t” Luhan said, cutting you off, it startles you slightly and you pull your wrists out of his hands on instinct. He flinches, and lowers his head so you can’t see his face anymore.

“Don’t what?” you say quietly, confused. What was that all about? 

“Sorry, it just- it wasn't your fault. I didn’t want you to blame yourself.” 

You don’t know how to react at his words. One moment, he’s cocky and flirty, next, he’s distant and cold, now he’s all sweet and shy. You can’t seem to figure him out. What is his true personality?

You shake your head. “Neither of us are at fault then, alright? It’s all those assholes’.” He still seems down. Probably because he thinks he’s still the one to blame for you injury. You place a hand on his now blood-free hair. Nice, soft and clean. You run your hand through the locks of hair and smile as he leans into your touch and closes his eye. You repeat it for a while until he’s completely relaxed, and half drifting off. You realise you should probably wake him up and get him on a bed before he completely falls asleep.

“Luhan. You can’t fall asleep here” You mutter as you softly pat him on the cheek to wake him up. He opens his eyes and squints cutely at you. 

“What?” he mutters sleepily and yawns. So cute, you think. You repeat your words again and he’s more awake now. In fact, he seems flighty, almost.

“I’ll leave immediately, yeah. I’m sorry for intruding.” He mutters awkwardly as he stands up. You roll your eyes and grab him by the shoulder and stop him when he tries to walk out of the bathroom. He tenses under your touch.   
“Don’t be an idiot, Luhan. I’m not asking you to leave, I’m saying sleeping in the bathroom is going to be hell on your back tomorrow, that’s all.” Your words sink in and he blushes as he realises his misunderstanding. 

You guide him to your bedroom. Before you could say anything he mutters cheekily “so we’re going to sleep together, are we?” 

Your response was a brutal slap on the head. He hisses in pain.  
“This is what you get for making stupid jokes,” you say.

Together, you two set up the spare mattress on the floor next to your bed and you give him your extra blanket and pillow. 

“Do you want to eat anything before you sleep?” You ask when you recall you haven’t eaten anything since lunch at school today.

“I’m alright, thank you” Luhan grins and lies down on his bed. You hum so he knows you’ve heard him and you go and make yourself some instant noodles. 

 

****

 

Luhan is in the shower while you’re making breakfast, you woke up early today so you decided to use the extra time to make something nice, pancakes. It’s 7:30 and you’ve already packed you school bag, everything was ready and done, you’re only waiting on Luhan to finish showering now. 

You remember as you think over the classes for today that there was an assignment that needs to be handed in in first period. And it’s definitely not in your bag. You bounce into your room and begin searching everywhere, under Luhan’s school clothes, through your shelf, beneath the bed.  
“Where is it?” you mutter in frustration. You finally find it lying on the table in plain sight. You sigh in relief and turn around to go back outside when you here faint footsteps leading towards you room. You figure it’s probably Luhan finishing his shower.

Just as you were in the motion of opening the door, you realise one crucial detail. 

Luhan’s clothes, what he was going to wear today, was still on your bed.   
So what was he wearing now? You’re halfway through opening the door, and everything turns into slow motion.

You see a tan, built chest, still dripping with droplets of water, you follow the water as it trails down, down down…- 

You shut your eyes closed abruptly, your mind freezes and without thinking, you slam the door as hard as you can. You hear a thud and a moan from the other side. And you realise you basically just slammed the door into Luhan’s face.

As you feel the guilt pulse through you, you forget what it was that made you slam the door in the first place and you fling it open, an apology on your tongue and when you see the sight before you, you are brutally reminded.

A very wet and very exposed Luhan looks up at you with a hand on his forehead and annoyance and pain written on his face. 

“What the hell?” Luhan groans from the floor, you realise he must have fallen over, too. 

“I should be saying that!” You protest as you try to not let your gaze stray from his face. “Why didn’t you take your clothes with you into the shower? This is so indecent you know.”

Luhan looks puzzled for a second before glancing down at his bare chest. Then back up at you again. You were expecting an apology, but what you received was a cheeky smirk. He opens his mouth again and you slam the door on him before he gets to make a sound. You pick up Luhan’s uniform on your bed and open the door once again to see Luhan hasn’t moved at all. He sees you and opens his mouth once again. This time, you shove the clothes in his face.   
To your surprise, he inhales it.   
“Wtf”  
“This is my true kink”  
“What are you going to do now I know your secret?”  
“I shall inhale you too.”

“Hey!” You hear him whine as you hurry into the living room and plop down on the couch. When Luhan comes out fully dressed, you’re reluctant to admit you’re slightly disappointed.

He stops in front of you, “where’s my waffles?” he asks. 

“I didn’t make any waffles, do you mean pancakes?” you reply. 

Luhan narrows his eyes at you “Nope”

You roll your eyes “the pancake’s on the table, I’ve already finished so hurry up and eat, idiot or we’ll be late”

 

 

Walking to school, you begin to think, this is when everything is going to go back to normal, there is no way Luhan would treat me any differently after this.

You sigh as you round a corner, coming closer and closer to the school.

“What?” Luhan asks.

“Nothing,” you say “maybe you should walk another way so no one will see us together”

Luhan frowns “Is that such a bad thing?”

“It’s not that,” you say “but girls already hate me enough that I sit next to you, I’ll be dead before recess if they see us walk to school together”

“Oh,” Luhan mutters, “yeah, okay, I’ll wait here, you go first, I’ll come later”

“See you in class” you say and begin walking once again, this time, Luhan doesn’t follow. 

When you walk into class, you realise you are once again early. You sit down in your usual spot and begin to doodling to past time.

The loud class suddenly becomes silent, and dreamy sighs come from behind you. Without looking you know Luhan must’ve entered the classroom. 

The seat next to yours is dragged out and someone sits in it. You make an effort to not acknowledge it and continue on with your doodling.


End file.
